Sounds like you know the fallout from trauma all too well. One of my sisters still suffers from regular nightmares. Divorce is disruptive, so I think it's a form of trauma, too. I hope you and all of us can find some peace around sleep.
It is, i’ve had a lot of trauma in my life and just started writing about it here and my healing journey. For me nit having a structure in my sleeping pattern is the problem.
And possibly cortisol having been so high my whole life. Trauma cause that , which is a constant fight flight mode. So, you may want to check your cortisol and a regulated diet that helps.
Do less intensive sports but kore calming ones like yoga for example. That will bring it down. Granted if that is the problem.
I used to be 'the sleeper'. I could sleep anywhere and nothing disturbed my sleep. Then my marriage started to fail, we separated and divorced. It's been so random ever since. I've tried pretty much everything apart from going to the doctor for sleeping tablets (don't want to do that). Definitely agree with going to bed early. I live alone so I can go to bed whenever I want. I switch my phone off too at around 9.30/10. Meditation helps. Reading a light novel. It's so rare now for me to sleep through the night, I've forgotten what it's like! Usually up at 3 for the loo. It's one of my main goals to get back into a good sleep pattern. I have found a meditation this week on YT that has been very helpful. I'm going to share it in this week's Monday Muse. It's helping me fall asleep faster and get up earlier.
I'm sorry to hear, Georgia. At the same time, it feels good to know I'm not alone. You being 'the sleeper' speaks to how disruptive divorce can be to our sleep. I look forward to your article.
Ryan, I was very engaged in reading your personal sleep story. True, broken relationship usually triggers some past trauma and create excess energy, which prevents us from sleeping well. Been there. To the point I am still not at my neat sleep regiment. Far from there actually. However, fighting yourself really makes the matters worse, so it is the best to just let go and do something useful while falling asleep. Meditation works magical, also, for the ones who do not live alone, talking with someone and connecting on a human level instead of screen time works very well to discharge the excess energy and be more peaceful before bed. Cheers! ☕
You know what it's like. I agree that activities like meditation are preferred over screen time. The former is restful, while the latter tends to contribute to the already overstimulated nervous system. Thanks for your comment - I always appreciate them.
I get the absolute BEST IDEAS when I wake at 3am and can't get back to sleep. I stopped riding the struggle bus about sleep and surrendered to my 3am wake-ups as a part of my life. I now trust that my nervous system is talking to me, and giving me 3am wake-ups to enjoy the quiet hours by myself where I can hear myself think clearly, without internal chatter and external influence.
My 3am wake-ups are likely a result of perimenopause. And when I asked my mother about what she went through at my age, she nodded and laughed. Yup. That happened. I asked her when it goes away, she laughed again and said "it never did...I still wake up at 3am...get used to it kid." So I did.
I love all your tips and tricks, and I'd like to add one of my own. Yoga Nidra. When I really need sleep, I throw on a Yoga Nidra podcast. It usually knocks me out, and if it doesn't, I get up the next morning feeling like I did get sleep. 20 minutes of yoga nidra is equal to 2 hours of sleep. I recommend Ayla Nova on YouTube. She's amazing.
I love how you trust that your nervous system is talking to you, get up and enjoy quiet time. And the story about your mom is priceless. Unfortunately, whenever I get up at 3am, I never go back to sleep. However, I'm looking forward to experimenting with Ayla Nova's Yoga Nidra. Thanks for sharing what works from your hard-won wisdom.
I knew you would be drawn to that line and and thought of you when I wrote it, Daryl. I needed a different word than "resisting," and thanks to you, "fighting" came to mind. :) Thanks for reading.
My sleep went to sh*t my whole life. So many traumas can cause that. I suppose a divorce is a form of trauma too
Sounds like you know the fallout from trauma all too well. One of my sisters still suffers from regular nightmares. Divorce is disruptive, so I think it's a form of trauma, too. I hope you and all of us can find some peace around sleep.
It is, i’ve had a lot of trauma in my life and just started writing about it here and my healing journey. For me nit having a structure in my sleeping pattern is the problem.
And possibly cortisol having been so high my whole life. Trauma cause that , which is a constant fight flight mode. So, you may want to check your cortisol and a regulated diet that helps.
Do less intensive sports but kore calming ones like yoga for example. That will bring it down. Granted if that is the problem.
I'm sorry to hear about your trauma, and I'm glad you're healing. Thanks for the recommendations.
Oh same here :(
I used to be 'the sleeper'. I could sleep anywhere and nothing disturbed my sleep. Then my marriage started to fail, we separated and divorced. It's been so random ever since. I've tried pretty much everything apart from going to the doctor for sleeping tablets (don't want to do that). Definitely agree with going to bed early. I live alone so I can go to bed whenever I want. I switch my phone off too at around 9.30/10. Meditation helps. Reading a light novel. It's so rare now for me to sleep through the night, I've forgotten what it's like! Usually up at 3 for the loo. It's one of my main goals to get back into a good sleep pattern. I have found a meditation this week on YT that has been very helpful. I'm going to share it in this week's Monday Muse. It's helping me fall asleep faster and get up earlier.
I'm sorry to hear, Georgia. At the same time, it feels good to know I'm not alone. You being 'the sleeper' speaks to how disruptive divorce can be to our sleep. I look forward to your article.
In one of the comments, Teri Leigh swears by the following: https://www.youtube.com/@AylaNovaNidra?app=desktop
My mom and I have had some success with Kirtan Kriya:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=2l9_rCpir_w
May we both reclaim a "good sleep pattern" that leaves us awake and refreshed.
Thanks for the links Ryan. I’ll definitely check them both out.
Yes, wishing that for us both.
Ryan, I was very engaged in reading your personal sleep story. True, broken relationship usually triggers some past trauma and create excess energy, which prevents us from sleeping well. Been there. To the point I am still not at my neat sleep regiment. Far from there actually. However, fighting yourself really makes the matters worse, so it is the best to just let go and do something useful while falling asleep. Meditation works magical, also, for the ones who do not live alone, talking with someone and connecting on a human level instead of screen time works very well to discharge the excess energy and be more peaceful before bed. Cheers! ☕
You know what it's like. I agree that activities like meditation are preferred over screen time. The former is restful, while the latter tends to contribute to the already overstimulated nervous system. Thanks for your comment - I always appreciate them.
I get the absolute BEST IDEAS when I wake at 3am and can't get back to sleep. I stopped riding the struggle bus about sleep and surrendered to my 3am wake-ups as a part of my life. I now trust that my nervous system is talking to me, and giving me 3am wake-ups to enjoy the quiet hours by myself where I can hear myself think clearly, without internal chatter and external influence.
My 3am wake-ups are likely a result of perimenopause. And when I asked my mother about what she went through at my age, she nodded and laughed. Yup. That happened. I asked her when it goes away, she laughed again and said "it never did...I still wake up at 3am...get used to it kid." So I did.
I love all your tips and tricks, and I'd like to add one of my own. Yoga Nidra. When I really need sleep, I throw on a Yoga Nidra podcast. It usually knocks me out, and if it doesn't, I get up the next morning feeling like I did get sleep. 20 minutes of yoga nidra is equal to 2 hours of sleep. I recommend Ayla Nova on YouTube. She's amazing.
I love how you trust that your nervous system is talking to you, get up and enjoy quiet time. And the story about your mom is priceless. Unfortunately, whenever I get up at 3am, I never go back to sleep. However, I'm looking forward to experimenting with Ayla Nova's Yoga Nidra. Thanks for sharing what works from your hard-won wisdom.
Solid advice, Ryan. I was particularly drawn to, "What if I just stopped fighting?" Good stuff :)
I knew you would be drawn to that line and and thought of you when I wrote it, Daryl. I needed a different word than "resisting," and thanks to you, "fighting" came to mind. :) Thanks for reading.