I love this Ryan. The experience of facing loneliness and it being a mirage! My experience with loneliness was quite different. I went deep into the feels of it after my divorce. It was scary. And one of the most painful times of my life. What I learned about myself in reading your post is that I didn’t really ever surrender to loneliness in that time. Sure, I found ways to embrace solitude (and that was beautiful) but as much as I thought I was sitting with loneliness, I was still fighting it. And some of the behaviors I had then, in fighting and fleeing loneliness, only brought on shame. And shame and loneliness are not a good combination!
I healed a lot in that time. And there’s still more to heal. I still have fears around loneliness. Sigh. Such is life. Everything is a process. I trust the process.
What I can say is that meeting you has been one of the greatest blessings of being on substack. I no longer feel loneliness in my business as an entrepreneur. That’s been a 25 year journey of walking (unwillingly) with loneliness. I thank you.
Phew, you know how to leave someone feeling seen. Your words are moving, and a wave of emotion swept through my body.
It's so interesting to hear about your experience after divorce. It was painful and scary for me, too, and I concur that shame and loneliness are not a good combination. I have much healing to do as well.
It's heartening to learn that I've had a positive impact and that my writing and showing up matter, especially when confronted with self-doubt. I look forward to making magic together.
Hm. Thought this was a bit superficial at first. Even unsubscribed! But I think it's had a subtle influence on me because this morning having one of those low moods and struggling to do the little jobs I planned I have been able to shake off the guilt and shame of "laziness" and accept the mood, and know it isn't permanent. Maybe today is a day for being creative or reflective? Thank you.
Wow, Zayda, I'm not sure if I've ever received such a transparent and honest comment. I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable here, and I'm delighted to hear you could extend grace to yourself this morning and even reconsider your plans based on your mood. You're welcome, and thank you for this gift. Makes my evening.
Mmm, so good to learn acceptance has transformed your loneliness. It's funny and sad that we look for outside confirmation before learning to confirm ourselves.
I struggle with loneliness. As a single woman in my 30s seeing peers get married and have the kids, it feels isolating. This article speaks to me in so many ways. I am an introvert and struggle with visibility at work. The spotlight feels scary and socializing feels like a drag. Im unsure how to think abt any of this but reading this has helped. You earned a subscribe from me
I appreciate your vulnerability here, Aishwarya. You're not alone. As you say, seeing others in a relationship can feel isolating. I'm glad to have you as a subscriber. 🤗
I ran from feeling. Like sprinted like my hair was on fire. And when I couldn’t run any longer. I felt. And I lived through it. And it sucks until it doesn’t. Truly. Keep feeling, friend.
I love this, Heidi. You beautifully capture what it's like to go from running to embracing feelings. Few things have been as beneficial to me as learning to feel feelings.
I find this story to be super relatable. Both about feeling lonely my whole life and then surrendering to the feeling and finding out it wasn’t so bad after all. You wrote about it really well
We seem to be in sync on the topics. Redhead bullied and animals to help from loneliness. I just wrote about that in my “the road less traveled…and I took a detour” . So interesting. I guess the collective consciousness is getting in synch worldwide 😁🙌🏻
I read your article last Friday, just before a weekend immersive. I enjoyed learning about your life and related to much of what you wrote. The photo of you with The Power of Now was a lovely touch. It's one of the books that helped purify my mind more than any other. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks Ryan! (Yes, great collar by the way!) Really insightful read and window into the raw emotions that I think you captured beautifully. Glad you’re here, I really enjoy reading your stuff. 👍
Insightful, Ryan. I’ll have to try that one day. I struggle with differentiating ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’. As odd as it may sound, I hope soon to be alone so I can conquer the thing called loneliness.
That's funny, Nate, but it doesn't sound odd. Your desire to be alone so you can better understand loneliness makes perfect sense to me. Daily alone time is a necessity for me. I'm glad you took the time to share what's happening for you. We're all in this.
Oh, man. I never know how my writing and stories will be received, so reading your words is a relief and a satisfying feeling to know they landed. Thanks for taking the time to share what came up this morning.
I can't tell you how good it feels to read your words, Jasmin. Despite trying to write transparently and vulnerably, I never know how my writing will land. Your words help to inspire me, so thank you.
I love this Ryan. The experience of facing loneliness and it being a mirage! My experience with loneliness was quite different. I went deep into the feels of it after my divorce. It was scary. And one of the most painful times of my life. What I learned about myself in reading your post is that I didn’t really ever surrender to loneliness in that time. Sure, I found ways to embrace solitude (and that was beautiful) but as much as I thought I was sitting with loneliness, I was still fighting it. And some of the behaviors I had then, in fighting and fleeing loneliness, only brought on shame. And shame and loneliness are not a good combination!
I healed a lot in that time. And there’s still more to heal. I still have fears around loneliness. Sigh. Such is life. Everything is a process. I trust the process.
What I can say is that meeting you has been one of the greatest blessings of being on substack. I no longer feel loneliness in my business as an entrepreneur. That’s been a 25 year journey of walking (unwillingly) with loneliness. I thank you.
Phew, you know how to leave someone feeling seen. Your words are moving, and a wave of emotion swept through my body.
It's so interesting to hear about your experience after divorce. It was painful and scary for me, too, and I concur that shame and loneliness are not a good combination. I have much healing to do as well.
It's heartening to learn that I've had a positive impact and that my writing and showing up matter, especially when confronted with self-doubt. I look forward to making magic together.
Hm. Thought this was a bit superficial at first. Even unsubscribed! But I think it's had a subtle influence on me because this morning having one of those low moods and struggling to do the little jobs I planned I have been able to shake off the guilt and shame of "laziness" and accept the mood, and know it isn't permanent. Maybe today is a day for being creative or reflective? Thank you.
Wow, Zayda, I'm not sure if I've ever received such a transparent and honest comment. I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable here, and I'm delighted to hear you could extend grace to yourself this morning and even reconsider your plans based on your mood. You're welcome, and thank you for this gift. Makes my evening.
This is beautiful. I have been plagued with loneliness my whole life but acceptance instead of resistance changes everything.
Mmm, so good to learn acceptance has transformed your loneliness. It's funny and sad that we look for outside confirmation before learning to confirm ourselves.
I struggle with loneliness. As a single woman in my 30s seeing peers get married and have the kids, it feels isolating. This article speaks to me in so many ways. I am an introvert and struggle with visibility at work. The spotlight feels scary and socializing feels like a drag. Im unsure how to think abt any of this but reading this has helped. You earned a subscribe from me
-Aishwarya (or Ash whatever is easier :)
I appreciate your vulnerability here, Aishwarya. You're not alone. As you say, seeing others in a relationship can feel isolating. I'm glad to have you as a subscriber. 🤗
I ran from feeling. Like sprinted like my hair was on fire. And when I couldn’t run any longer. I felt. And I lived through it. And it sucks until it doesn’t. Truly. Keep feeling, friend.
I love this, Heidi. You beautifully capture what it's like to go from running to embracing feelings. Few things have been as beneficial to me as learning to feel feelings.
I find this story to be super relatable. Both about feeling lonely my whole life and then surrendering to the feeling and finding out it wasn’t so bad after all. You wrote about it really well
That's brilliant to hear, Elizabeth. What growth it shows. Thanks for being here. 💛
We seem to be in sync on the topics. Redhead bullied and animals to help from loneliness. I just wrote about that in my “the road less traveled…and I took a detour” . So interesting. I guess the collective consciousness is getting in synch worldwide 😁🙌🏻
It's fun to hear we're in sync on topics. You may be right about the collective consciousness. I look forward to reading your article.
It's this one https://thekeystonechannel.substack.com/p/the-road-less-traveledand-i-took , love your feedback
I read your article last Friday, just before a weekend immersive. I enjoyed learning about your life and related to much of what you wrote. The photo of you with The Power of Now was a lovely touch. It's one of the books that helped purify my mind more than any other. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you! Yes that book has helped me a lot as well!
Thanks Ryan! (Yes, great collar by the way!) Really insightful read and window into the raw emotions that I think you captured beautifully. Glad you’re here, I really enjoy reading your stuff. 👍
You made me laugh, and I'm grateful for your words, Mike. I appreciate your friendship.
Insightful, Ryan. I’ll have to try that one day. I struggle with differentiating ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’. As odd as it may sound, I hope soon to be alone so I can conquer the thing called loneliness.
That's funny, Nate, but it doesn't sound odd. Your desire to be alone so you can better understand loneliness makes perfect sense to me. Daily alone time is a necessity for me. I'm glad you took the time to share what's happening for you. We're all in this.
Keep feeling, indeed. Thanks for this, Ryan!
Cheers, Kelly. Good to hear from you.
Beautiful read and so illuminating on the power of welcoming emotions. I'm touched. Such a beautiful way to start my day!
Oh, man. I never know how my writing and stories will be received, so reading your words is a relief and a satisfying feeling to know they landed. Thanks for taking the time to share what came up this morning.
Very touching and raw take on loneliness. Really drew me in, couldn't stop reading. Thank you for sharing your pain and gain!
I can't tell you how good it feels to read your words, Jasmin. Despite trying to write transparently and vulnerably, I never know how my writing will land. Your words help to inspire me, so thank you.