What is Beyond Self Improvement?
“Much of spiritual life is self-acceptance, maybe all of it.” - Jack Kornfield
“Nothing I accept about myself can be used against me to diminish me.” - Audre Lorde
“The most terrifying thing in the world is to accept oneself completely.” - Carl Jung
"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change." - Carl Rogers
"I don't think you can truly change for the better in a lasting, meaningful way unless it is driven by self acceptance.” - Brené Brown
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” - Carl Jung
“The alternative to self-love is self-destruction.” - Alan Watts
TL;DR: Beyond Self Improvement is a free weekly newsletter for those tired of optimizing and perfecting themselves and ready to heal, find wholeness, and accept themselves just as they are. It is a community for open and honest conversation for living life as it is rather than how it was supposed to be.
For many, self-improvement is seen as the ultimate in personal growth. But more often than not, we use it to judge ourselves and reinforce the belief that we are not enough.
What starts with good intentions becomes something we think we should do, a lifelong project to perfect ourselves by fixing all our flaws.
The illusory promise of the perfect self sets us up for great striving and struggle to satisfy a demanding ego. But despite all of our efforts, we end up right where we are, only more restless, anxious, and dissatisfied.
What if nothing was wrong with you and nothing to fix or improve? What if you are already whole and complete, just as you are? Would you be willing to stop fighting yourself and start accepting and enjoying yourself as you are while embracing the life you want?
This newsletter will attempt to answer this question…with a dash of humor.
Looking forward to you joining me on this mad, beautiful, and messy adventure we call life. And whatever is beautiful, meaningful, and brings you happiness, may it be yours throughout 2023.
What to Expect
Every Wednesday, you will get my Beyond Self Improvement newsletter, which includes powerful stories and lessons from daily life about love, forgiveness, and self-acceptance.
Join the Family
Be part of a growing community of people tired of improving themselves to death and ready to experience a more vibrant, authentic, and joyful life without struggling with self-rejection.
What Readers Are Saying 🙏
“Your writing is super clear and easy to read.” - Olli K., Finland
“…you are a beautiful writer and make valuable human connections.” - Lelei C., USA
“The way you lead with your heart, connect with intention, and encourage us all to embrace our humanity is a gift.” - Liz O., USA
“I forward them [newsletter] to my fiancé every week as well!” - Jannica R., England
At 31, I was living in a great town (Boulder), making more money than ever (Fortune 500), in the best shape of my life (exercising seven days a week), and doing what I loved (climbing mountains). But I was miserable and hated myself and my life and thought, “Is this it?”
So I began seeking answers.
I started practicing yoga and felt a lightness I hadn’t known. But once the ease wore off, the existential dread returned. I listened to talks on Eastern psychology and began to understand myself better. But I still felt flawed and broken. I began meditating and felt more whole. But I remained restless and unsettled.
I went on silent meditation retreats and experienced profound quiet, ease, and freedom from my tormented mind. But after the high wore off, the anger, judgment, and loneliness returned. I practiced mindfulness and learned to stay present and grounded throughout the day. But I was still emotionally immature and didn’t know what I felt.
I joined a men’s group and learned to feel and label feelings, which was revelatory. But I still acted out painful childhood wounds. I went to therapy to cry out a lifetime of suppressed pain, sorrow, and rage. I forgave my parents and myself for our respective shortcomings.
But this was just the beginning. Every day, I seek to see more clearly, live more fully, and love more completely.
Twenty years and about 73,000 hours of practice later, I’m sharing everything I’ve learned in this newsletter.
Please say hi. ✍🏻
RynoDelaney [at] iCloud [dot] com