Sharing this outside Substack with a small group of dads I know, who each deserve to read this. Great piece, Ryan. You have me thinking about something non-dads don't tend to think about, but as a former kid, it resonates.
Yep, I sure did. And I'm watching my daughter do it to her daughter. I'm just glad we're getting better at recognizing and owning it and hopefully working on it. And forgiving ourselves too.
It's counter-intuitive, isn't it? We're often taught to avoid conflict, to keep the peace at all costs. Yet, your essay makes a compelling case for the idea that "conflict is everyday," and that embracing it (and repairing it) can actually lead to greater connection. It’s a powerful, unconventional perspective. Instead of seeing arguments or disagreements as signs of a broken relationship, what if we started viewing them as necessary friction, the very grit that allows relationships to polish and strengthen?
Your example of your stepdaughter speaking up and your subsequent apology beautifully illustrates how authentic engagement, even in conflict, can build trust and deepen understanding. It moves beyond the superficial harmony to a more robust, honest connection. It's a powerful reminder that true intimacy often requires a willingness to navigate discomfort together.
I love this. It’s important to model healthy behaviors for our kids and acknowledging when we don’t handle something well in the moment is part of that.
Sharing this outside Substack with a small group of dads I know, who each deserve to read this. Great piece, Ryan. You have me thinking about something non-dads don't tend to think about, but as a former kid, it resonates.
Yep, I sure did. And I'm watching my daughter do it to her daughter. I'm just glad we're getting better at recognizing and owning it and hopefully working on it. And forgiving ourselves too.
It's counter-intuitive, isn't it? We're often taught to avoid conflict, to keep the peace at all costs. Yet, your essay makes a compelling case for the idea that "conflict is everyday," and that embracing it (and repairing it) can actually lead to greater connection. It’s a powerful, unconventional perspective. Instead of seeing arguments or disagreements as signs of a broken relationship, what if we started viewing them as necessary friction, the very grit that allows relationships to polish and strengthen?
Your example of your stepdaughter speaking up and your subsequent apology beautifully illustrates how authentic engagement, even in conflict, can build trust and deepen understanding. It moves beyond the superficial harmony to a more robust, honest connection. It's a powerful reminder that true intimacy often requires a willingness to navigate discomfort together.
I love this. It’s important to model healthy behaviors for our kids and acknowledging when we don’t handle something well in the moment is part of that.
Very compelling Ryan. Glad to be back!!
Wisdom and great advice…TY