Don’t Quit Your Job Before Reading This

How a single realization can forever change your approach to challenges

Special Note: I'm excited to share that I'll be writing more about self-acceptance in the coming weeks and months. If you’re interested in this topic, please reply to this email. Your feedback helps me tailor my writing to your interests.

Welcome to another edition of Beyond Self Improvement! If you missed it, here’s last week’s article: Navigating the Storms of Spiritual Life.

In today’s essay, you’ll learn the untold strategy that transformed a struggling salesperson into a top performer and how you can use it to overcome your hurdles. If you’re new, consider subscribing below to join our growing community and get the next essay direct to your inbox:

Is it time to push or let up?

Sometimes, life throws us into the deep end—roles, challenges and environments where our only option is to sink or swim.

My experience in a ruthless sales job taught me a lifetime lesson about the power of perseverance. I want to share that story with you today, but not all at once. First, let’s talk about where it all began.

In college, I sold a car detailing service door-to-door. Fast-forward thirteen years, I found myself in an “eat what you kill” sales job in one of the world’s most expensive cities. I was selling an intangible service on a straight commission without sales training. That’s like playing for Manchester United after one summer in a rec league.

The job was absurdly competitive, and the industry was rife with challenges that I would only come to appreciate fully over time.

𑁍

My first conversation with my new manager set the stage for what was to come.

After relocating from Colorado to the San Francisco Bay Area, he said bluntly, “We already have where you live covered, so we don’t need you. But since you’re here, I guess you can call in the East Bay. Get 50 business cards a day. After a month, you’ll have more leads than you know what to do with.” That phone call was my introduction and training.

If you’re wondering what happened next, let’s find out.

Each day, I crossed the Bay Bridge to meet potential customers in Berkeley and the surrounding area. Dressed like a salesperson in slacks, a button-down shirt, and a black portfolio, I faced my monthly quota with hope and dread. Occasionally, I’d get dirty looks from hypocritical hippies living in million-dollar mansions.

Yet I was determined to reach the target of 50 business cards daily—so much so that I once called a restaurant on a Friday evening. The owner asked, “You’re cold-calling me on a Friday night?!” as if I were crazy. But this experience was nothing compared to what would come.

Living in California was exhilarating, with its long history spanning from the gold rush to the 1960s protests to the technology of Silicon Valley. But I hated every minute of my job. It was awful to get in my car, knock on the doors of restaurants, retailers, and industrial supply companies and get turned down. I wanted to stay inside my dry apartment instead of walking around in the rain for hours.

Not a day went by that I didn’t think about quitting.

Talking on my feet was nearly impossible for me, so whenever I cold-called businesses, I’d get tongue-tied and fumble through my words. Then, whenever I did get an appointment, I was so focused on getting the sale that my mind went into hyperdrive, like an AI computer, drawing vast energy.

Blood would be shunted from my hands, and prospects would comment, “Oh, your hand is so cold!” So, I began not-so-subtly sitting on my right hand several minutes before my appointments ended to warm it up. “Surely I was put on this earth to do something more meaningful with my life than this,” I’d hear myself say.

Yet something else was growing in me—a stubborn determination.

Up to that point in my life, I had quit everything—sports, jobs, hobbies, relationships. My ego couldn’t handle failure, so I bailed whenever the going got tough. Despite the daily dread and the voice incessantly whispering, “Quit,” I reached a critical realization. But more on that later.

One late afternoon, I walked into a restaurant, and the owner asked, “Have you ever eaten here.” “No,” I replied. “Fuck you!” he shot back. I was stunned, and it took a few seconds to recover. Despite such daily rejection, each a blow to my confidence and resolve, there was a turning point on the horizon.

𑁍

I woke up one day more miserable than ever, despairing over my job situation and desperate to do something I was better suited for.

At that moment, I heard myself say, “You know, Ryan, if you quit now, you’re not really making a choice. First, you have to succeed—then, you can choose to leave.”

This realization marked a turning point. No longer was I trying to survive. Suddenly, I wanted to thrive, meet my quota, and be somebody on my team. Instead of being pulled in different directions, I could focus all my energy on succeeding. I started making sales, slowly at first, and then with increasing frequency.

By the third month, I made my first significant sale. My strategies and tactics, inspired by sales books like “How I Raised Myself From Failure to Success in Selling,” and a bit of personal innovation, began to bear fruit. What happened next? Well, the results were surprising, even to me.

Within six months, I was at quota. By the end of my first year, I was nominated Rookie of the Year for my region. Two promotions followed, and so did numerous awards. I was consistently in the top one to three percent of 2,000 sales reps. I had transformed from an introverted newcomer into a confident sales manager, recognized and respected among my peers.

𑁍

After seven years, changes in the commission structure prompted me to leave, but not out of bitterness. I had accomplished what I set out to achieve: to set my schedule, earn what I wanted, and vacation as much as I wanted (as long as I made quota, which happened to be two months a year).

More profoundly, I understood when we needed to push ourselves and when to let up.

As arduous as it was, this job was the most satisfying and rewarding of all my career experiences. Reflecting on that time, I realize it was never about choosing between being a workaholic or retiring on a beach. Instead, it’s always been about knowing when to expend more energy and when to take in energy.

As much as I advocate slowing down and being softer on ourselves, sometimes we need to buckle down through short-term discomfort for long-term satisfaction.

𑁍

To everyone reading this, consider your current challenges in relation to perseverance and self-care. Are there areas in your life where more discipline is needed? Or places where being easier on yourself is called for?

Finding harmony is about achieving success (however you define it) and living a life that feels fulfilling and true to your deepest self—today and tomorrow.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Let’s continue to support each other in finding that harmony, pushing forward when necessary and easing up when called for.

Keep finding that point between effort and ease.

Ryan

Thank you for walking beside me on this path, my friend. I’m glad you’re here.

My biggest passion—working 1:1 with readers like you.

Whenever you’re ready, I can help you stop waging war with yourself and start being your best friend. Schedule a free, 45-minute discovery call now.

Blaze the animated stuffed animal.