"To live simply in a world that rewards complexity is a quiet act of rebellion." is such a great thought. 4 years ago I moved from NY to Missouri, we went from 2 incomes to 1, and moved from a busy neighborhood to the middle of 4 corn fields. I've found so much peace in the efforts to downsize and simplify all parts of life. Great read Ryan!
Back in 2012, we lived in Downtown Los Angeles. To frame this up, we were in the process of unloading years of possessions in order to leave the country for Costa Rica with three bags each. It was a tough process. Needless to say, we were in "get rid of stuff" mode.
One day, there was a street fair near our loft. It was mostly booths—tables under tents—where businesses were giving away swag. [read: crap]
My wife and I were mostly interested in the lines formed at every booth, with people only there to get the free stuff. I couldn't get my head around it.
I wonder if our constant pursuit of "more" stems from a deeper fear—a fear of stillness, of facing ourselves, of realizing that maybe, just maybe, we already have enough. It’s almost as if we’re afraid that if we stop moving, if we stop acquiring, we’ll have to confront something uncomfortable. I mean, think about it. When we’re busy, when we’re surrounded by stuff, we don’t have to deal with the quiet. We don’t have to ask ourselves the hard questions. So, is our addiction to "more" just a sophisticated form of avoidance? Are we filling our lives with things to avoid facing ourselves? It's a question that keeps bouncing around in my head now.
That's a profound insight. I think you're right, or at least at a minimum it explains a large part of the behavior. Your insight reminds me of Ekchart Tolle talking about self-seeking through doing (achieving, acquiring, etc) and how acquisitions temporarily expand and enlarge our sense of self. Our relationship to stuff is a fascinating, ongoing and necessary inquiry. I'm thankful for your comment.
It feels great to hear that many points confirm your experience and you even saved the article. A first!
Oh, so you know dog sitting/walking! It's a great gig, isn't it? Many pet guardians confide it's their dream job, but it can be demanding, as you well know.
Hi Ryan. Thank you. This arrived just in time. I am feeling restless at the moment and often my antidote to that is just to do "something". I will then regret it later. This is the salutary lesson I needed reminding of.
I'm just seeing this now. I relate, as I can be restless about cleaning up and simplifying. I'm curious to understand what part of doing "something" causes regret.
Great article Ryan. It reminds me of a time when I hated being given fresh flowers, because I’d been told ‘cut the stems, remove all greenery off the stem that will go below the water line and then dip the cut stems in boiling water for 10 seconds, then add a sachet of flower powder to the water in the vase’. Ooof! What complexity and hassle. It was putting me off fresh flowers altogether, I kid you not!
Then I watched in amazement as my friend simply stuck flowers I’d given her in a vase, with none of that preamble! ‘But aren’t you going to …?’ I said. And she just smiled and said ‘I keep it simple and the flowers don’t seem to mind’
I felt so released by this and a burden was lifted by her permissive actions and smile!
Such a brilliant illustration of how humans can complicate even the simplest things, like flowers in a vase. As you point out, these can stick in our minds, destroying the very thing we love. You've probably noticed how "experts" often make things more complicated than they are to sell more stuff.
Thank you for reading and sharing such a fitting comment.
Ah, now I understand. How often have I regretted my words for days, weeks, months, or even years? I'm reminded of Ajahn Sucitto's recent talk about the importance of not making unwholesome contact with others and suffering from the anxiety of regret. Despite our best intentions and efforts, it still happens.
I was just commenting to Orsi about how her writing is refreshingly simple. Now I get to send this article to her.
and, this article emphasizes why you and I work so well together. Simplicity has always been a core value of my business, and the hardest thing I do in business every day...to simplify. You help me do that.
That makes two of us who appreciate Orsi's writing for its spareness. I thought of you while writing this piece since you stated recently that simplicity is one of your core values. One of the many reasons we get along so well, as you say.
This reminds me of a line from a Hindu devotional song that we come into this world fist clenched and we leave it palms wide open … we take nothing with us …
I like that, Dipak. I wonder if we come into the world fist clenched or are we conditioned to clench our fist? I don't know because I can't remember that far back, but it's a fascinating topic nonetheless.
I view clenched fist as just part of the development of the embryo but symbolic of coming into this world with just the material body of flesh and blood…no other material belongings.
Ryan … this is so refreshing. Maybe it’s just aging but I for one am learning to invite less busyness into life … but it ain’t easy work the expectation of the world we live in. I know that’s my own work …
I'm delighted to hear you're inviting less busyness into your daily life, Dipak. There are a lot of expectations, aren't there? I remember a teacher once saying that those around him have come to expect slow responses from him. I find it's a delicate balance between taking care of my desire not to live urgently while responding in a timely manner to others needs and expectations.
It’s a slow process to become aware who I am and feeling comfortable & okay with that, without needing to do things to be accepted. I have recently struggled to not partake in a brewery hopping events with friends through obligation and not to feel left out. One is that I’m not a big drinker, two I am time poor and three if I did have time - it wouldn’t be my choice. So I have bowed out but feel this underlying judgement.
I’m am reading Rollo Mays Man’s Search for Himself. He discusses ideas of conformity and the fear of isolation which can lead to meaningless busyness.
Nice awareness and practicing saying "no." I read his book Love and Will, but not Man's Search for Himself. Busyness is often yet another form of self-medication or avoidance.
My aspiration is to come a place of possessions and satisfaction with exactly the amount of stuff (things) I’ll be able to take with me when I die. That’s my path. Same as everyone’s path—though many don’t know it.
I was intimate with this when I bore immediate witness to my dad’s dying and death. Here was a man who farmed over 300 acres of land, with multiple tractors and farm implements, who ended life with a few clothes, a flip phone, his wedding ring, and his watch. All he owned could be placed in a small backpack with room to spare. And my dad was happy.
Wow, your dad is inspiring, Kert. It says everything that he could farm over 300 acres while living a simple yet happy life. May we all realize his simplicity and joy.
This was such a refreshing read.
I'm so glad you liked it. Feels great to hear.
"To live simply in a world that rewards complexity is a quiet act of rebellion." is such a great thought. 4 years ago I moved from NY to Missouri, we went from 2 incomes to 1, and moved from a busy neighborhood to the middle of 4 corn fields. I've found so much peace in the efforts to downsize and simplify all parts of life. Great read Ryan!
Just seeing this now, Susan.
I love how you went opposite of most—simplifying rather than adding complexity, faster to slower, and from 2 incomes to one.
I appreciate you reading and commenting.
Back in 2012, we lived in Downtown Los Angeles. To frame this up, we were in the process of unloading years of possessions in order to leave the country for Costa Rica with three bags each. It was a tough process. Needless to say, we were in "get rid of stuff" mode.
One day, there was a street fair near our loft. It was mostly booths—tables under tents—where businesses were giving away swag. [read: crap]
My wife and I were mostly interested in the lines formed at every booth, with people only there to get the free stuff. I couldn't get my head around it.
Anyway, this is what came to mind reading this.
Oh, man, too funny, Damon! You couldn't get a clearer illustration of this dynamic in everyday life.
It's also sad because swag is like seawater. No amount can quench our thirst.
Always appreciate your stories, insights and laughs.
Happy to know it gave you a laugh. It was weird, man.
For a moment, I thought they were giving away food or food samples. Part of me wondered why I wasn't in line. Must be something good, right?
Nope
• Flyers, mostly
• Bookmarks
• Plastic rulers
I wonder if our constant pursuit of "more" stems from a deeper fear—a fear of stillness, of facing ourselves, of realizing that maybe, just maybe, we already have enough. It’s almost as if we’re afraid that if we stop moving, if we stop acquiring, we’ll have to confront something uncomfortable. I mean, think about it. When we’re busy, when we’re surrounded by stuff, we don’t have to deal with the quiet. We don’t have to ask ourselves the hard questions. So, is our addiction to "more" just a sophisticated form of avoidance? Are we filling our lives with things to avoid facing ourselves? It's a question that keeps bouncing around in my head now.
Spot on
That's a profound insight. I think you're right, or at least at a minimum it explains a large part of the behavior. Your insight reminds me of Ekchart Tolle talking about self-seeking through doing (achieving, acquiring, etc) and how acquisitions temporarily expand and enlarge our sense of self. Our relationship to stuff is a fascinating, ongoing and necessary inquiry. I'm thankful for your comment.
To live simply in a world that rewards complexity is a quiet act of rebellion. - that is my favorite line
I’m glad you like that line, Sam. Thank you. ☺️
Ryan, this was sublime throughout and I couldn't agree with you more on so many points!
"No is a choice. Yes is an obligation." 🔥🙌👏
P.S. I was a professional dog sitter/walker in a former life🐾🐶😊 woof!! Thank you so much for this piece that made me hit the "save" button.
🙏🌷
It feels great to hear that many points confirm your experience and you even saved the article. A first!
Oh, so you know dog sitting/walking! It's a great gig, isn't it? Many pet guardians confide it's their dream job, but it can be demanding, as you well know.
Thanks for your kind spirit.
Hi Ryan. Thank you. This arrived just in time. I am feeling restless at the moment and often my antidote to that is just to do "something". I will then regret it later. This is the salutary lesson I needed reminding of.
I'm just seeing this now. I relate, as I can be restless about cleaning up and simplifying. I'm curious to understand what part of doing "something" causes regret.
Great article Ryan. It reminds me of a time when I hated being given fresh flowers, because I’d been told ‘cut the stems, remove all greenery off the stem that will go below the water line and then dip the cut stems in boiling water for 10 seconds, then add a sachet of flower powder to the water in the vase’. Ooof! What complexity and hassle. It was putting me off fresh flowers altogether, I kid you not!
Then I watched in amazement as my friend simply stuck flowers I’d given her in a vase, with none of that preamble! ‘But aren’t you going to …?’ I said. And she just smiled and said ‘I keep it simple and the flowers don’t seem to mind’
I felt so released by this and a burden was lifted by her permissive actions and smile!
Now I like receiving flowers again… 💐🎉
Such a brilliant illustration of how humans can complicate even the simplest things, like flowers in a vase. As you point out, these can stick in our minds, destroying the very thing we love. You've probably noticed how "experts" often make things more complicated than they are to sell more stuff.
Thank you for reading and sharing such a fitting comment.
The regret was overreacting to someone's poor behaviour which if I had paused and processed before reacting could have been handled very differently.
Ah, now I understand. How often have I regretted my words for days, weeks, months, or even years? I'm reminded of Ajahn Sucitto's recent talk about the importance of not making unwholesome contact with others and suffering from the anxiety of regret. Despite our best intentions and efforts, it still happens.
Completely agree! Fantastic piece Ryan 🩵
I'm glad it resonated, Grace. Thank you. ☺️
I was just commenting to Orsi about how her writing is refreshingly simple. Now I get to send this article to her.
and, this article emphasizes why you and I work so well together. Simplicity has always been a core value of my business, and the hardest thing I do in business every day...to simplify. You help me do that.
That makes two of us who appreciate Orsi's writing for its spareness. I thought of you while writing this piece since you stated recently that simplicity is one of your core values. One of the many reasons we get along so well, as you say.
This reminds me of a line from a Hindu devotional song that we come into this world fist clenched and we leave it palms wide open … we take nothing with us …
I like that, Dipak. I wonder if we come into the world fist clenched or are we conditioned to clench our fist? I don't know because I can't remember that far back, but it's a fascinating topic nonetheless.
I view clenched fist as just part of the development of the embryo but symbolic of coming into this world with just the material body of flesh and blood…no other material belongings.
Ryan … this is so refreshing. Maybe it’s just aging but I for one am learning to invite less busyness into life … but it ain’t easy work the expectation of the world we live in. I know that’s my own work …
I'm delighted to hear you're inviting less busyness into your daily life, Dipak. There are a lot of expectations, aren't there? I remember a teacher once saying that those around him have come to expect slow responses from him. I find it's a delicate balance between taking care of my desire not to live urgently while responding in a timely manner to others needs and expectations.
It’s a slow process to become aware who I am and feeling comfortable & okay with that, without needing to do things to be accepted. I have recently struggled to not partake in a brewery hopping events with friends through obligation and not to feel left out. One is that I’m not a big drinker, two I am time poor and three if I did have time - it wouldn’t be my choice. So I have bowed out but feel this underlying judgement.
I’m am reading Rollo Mays Man’s Search for Himself. He discusses ideas of conformity and the fear of isolation which can lead to meaningless busyness.
Just a couple of thoughts…
Nice awareness and practicing saying "no." I read his book Love and Will, but not Man's Search for Himself. Busyness is often yet another form of self-medication or avoidance.
Nicely put ... busyness can equal self medication!
Less is always more. Thank you Ryan for this fantastic read.
I'm glad it landed, Meredith. Thank you. 🙏🏻
My aspiration is to come a place of possessions and satisfaction with exactly the amount of stuff (things) I’ll be able to take with me when I die. That’s my path. Same as everyone’s path—though many don’t know it.
I was intimate with this when I bore immediate witness to my dad’s dying and death. Here was a man who farmed over 300 acres of land, with multiple tractors and farm implements, who ended life with a few clothes, a flip phone, his wedding ring, and his watch. All he owned could be placed in a small backpack with room to spare. And my dad was happy.
Wow, your dad is inspiring, Kert. It says everything that he could farm over 300 acres while living a simple yet happy life. May we all realize his simplicity and joy.
Monty gets it! Thanks Ryan.
Ha! He sure does, Mike! Thank you for reading and commenting.