Look Where You Want to Go
Your inner wisdom will get you there
Hello & welcome to another edition of Beyond Self Improvement!
Last Wednesday, I shared why we expect too much of ourselves and others and what happens when we do. The comments on the post are beautiful because the beyond self improvement community comes with their hearts open.
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Dear Friends,
“Look where you want to go,” said the instructor.
“What do you mean,” I asked. “I am looking.”
“No. You’re looking where you already are. You need to look where you want to go,” he said, pointing in the distance.
“You mean way out there,” I asked, incredulous.
“Yeah, you gotta look to the furthest point you can see. Your body and mind will get you there. You just need to look where you want the car to go.”
I was behind the wheel of a Ford Mustang Shelby GT500. To paraphrase a line from the movie Robocop, it is an American muscle car that goes really fast and gets really shitty gas mileage.
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Two dozen of us gathered in an enormous parking lot in Monterey, California, for driving school on a cloudy spring day. Our instructors included a retired Formula 1 driver (Canada’s first) and two active professional race car drivers. Waymo, Google’s autonomous driving company, sent us here to learn how to maneuver minivans at high rates of speed in life-threatening situations.
Having passed a gauntlet of driving tests, we had proven ourselves worthy of being human crash-test dummies. Now it was time to up-level our skills. We split into two groups—one half driving the minivans (learning), the other half the Mustangs (fun). I opted for learning first and having fun later.
To warm up, we performed light driving maneuvers at low speeds. The next task was driving through an “S” shape series of cones. The instructions were to speed toward an airport hanger, reaching 55 mph precisely when the front bumper aligns with the green cone. At that exact moment, we were to yank the steering wheel hard right, then hard left, and immediately stop without hitting a single cone. The instructor showed us how easy it was, and then it was our turn.
We broke into groups of three—one driver and two passengers each—and climbed aboard our respective minivans. Sure that the car would roll, I let another guy drive first. The minivan lurched in one direction and then the other but somehow managed to stay upright.
When it was my turn, I gathered my nerves and held my breath as I punched the accelerator. Shit, this is really happening. The airport hanger loomed larger. Green-colored cone, 55 mph, yank right, then left, hard stop. I clenched the steering wheel, my mind racing. 53 mph. Green cone! Hard right! Hard left! Stop! Stoppppp!
It’s hard to describe the stress of a high-speed driving maneuver in your mom’s minivan. But if you’ve ever bungee jumped, skydived, or been in a near-fatal crash, then you know what it’s like. Of course, simulating real-world driving conditions was the whole point of the exercise.
With the hard part of the day over, we had the opportunity to drive the two supercharged Ford Mustangs. I kept spinning out on the figure eight while trying to maintain 45 mph. After the third spinout, the instructor said, “Look where you want to go!”
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In our busy lives, losing the forest for the trees is easy. We can become so consumed with doing that we forget why we are doing what we are doing. Maintaining the big picture, however, allows our actions to remain connected with our why. In other words, looking where we want to go ensures your efforts align with your intentions.
The power of “look where you want to go” is that it taps into how our bodies and minds work, engaging the innate intelligence of our unconscious mind. It is helpful in all areas of life, whether driving a car, leading an organization, or living a genuine spiritual life.
A baseball player keeps his eye on the ball because that’s where he wants the bat to go. A chef keeps her eye on delighting customers because that’s the feeling she wants to evoke with every dish. While driving the Mustang, I focused on the furthest point on the figure eight and allowed my body and mind to do the rest. It was as if the car was driving itself. “Begin with the end in mind,” as the saying goes.
Target fixation, or fixating on what we don’t want to happen, is the opposite of looking where you want to go. We’ve all experienced walking with a full cup of coffee or tea. If we stare at the cup and think, “Don’t spill. Don’t spill,” we are more likely to spill, right? When we focus on not spilling, the mind thinks we want to spill the coffee or tea. But if we relax and look where we are going, our hand will likely remain steady.
“Looking where you want to go” means keeping your eye on what matters most to you and how you want to spend your limited time on this earth. If you look at the point directly ahead of your bumper, literally or metaphorically, you won’t be ready for the next curve on the road of life.
Keeping one eye in the present and one eye looking ahead is simple in concept but more challenging in practice. It requires relinquishing control and surrendering to the outcome. At times, you must be brutally honest about where you are versus where you want to be to focus fully on the task at hand.
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Looking where you want to go is a powerful practice that helps you manifest your intentions. But first, you must know where you are going and intend to get there. Getting swept downstream in life’s turbulence is easy without a set intention.
Once you know your purpose, your innate intelligence will get you where you’re going. Above all, always look where you want to go, not where you don’t want to go.
P.S. The next time you’re on a windy road, look ahead to the furthest point instead of looking directly in front of your bumper. You may be surprised by how much smoother and easier driving (and life) can be.
Questions to ponder:
What are your intentions for your life?
More peace?
More joy?
Financial freedom?
To be a more constant and understanding partner?
Self-acceptance?
To raise healthy and wholesome kids?
To live overseas someday?
That’s all for this week. Thanks for being here and giving me this space to share with you. I’ll be back in your inbox next Wednesday.
Keep looking where you want to go,
Ryan
P.P.S. The spiritual community has given me much, and I’d like to pay it forward. I’m offering free coaching for June to the first two people who contact me. If you want to learn how to stop the battle and make peace with yourself, message me.
Oh, and whenever you’re ready, I can help you transform chronic stress and worry into ongoing calm. Making you feel in control in 90 days. Schedule a free, 30-minute discovery call today.