Hiding is easy. Revealing myself is hard.

But vulnerability is where life’s best moments happen

Dear Friend,

I aspired to live and study abroad in high school with a family. The program required group activities to assess our teamwork. Initially, I dismissed it as stupid and beneath me, so I participated half-heartedly. My detachment was a defense against the fear of looking foolish and facing ridicule from others. I avoided vulnerability but missed being accepted into the program, which was a massive letdown.

It's easy to build walls. When I was younger, I unknowingly built complex protections around my emotions, digging wide moats and constructing high barriers. My psychological defenses were filled with the murky waters of past hurts and disappointments. The moat offered safety, an invisible boundary guarding my vulnerabilities.

Of course, not all protective barriers should be torn down. Some are healthy and necessary. Only some people deserve access to our deepest truths. Vulnerability isn’t about oversharing or exposing myself to those who might exploit my openness. It's about letting the right people in and trusting that they will handle my heart with care.

I spoke with a friend earlier this year. “I hate running," she said. “Then why do you do it?” I asked. "Because I don't want to get fat," she said. Her honesty was refreshingly endearing.

I thought I was protecting myself by building these emotional walls. Each ripple represented a past wound: betrayal, rejection, embarrassing regret. I methodically dug, creating a seemingly impenetrable shield around my deepest self.

The irony is apparent. By trying to protect my heart, I pushed away deep connections.

These walls I built became my prison. My relationships became superficial, and even though we were nice to each other, it wasn’t enough to fill the void. The drawbridge remained raised, concealing my true self and never letting anyone get too close.

Being vulnerable is like opening up a fortress and letting the world see our true selves. It means being brave enough to show our weaknesses, fears, and insecurities. It means being honest and real, with limitations and all. That’s why we often dream of being naked—it’s a way of letting go of our inhibitions and embracing our true selves.

Imagine being emotionally transparent. There’s no hiding, no pretending, just your true, authentic self. That’s vulnerability. It means admitting, “I’m scared.” It means acknowledging, “I’m angry.” It means saying, “I was wrong.” It means sharing our deepest fears and darkest dimensions. No show better models vulnerability than Six Feet Under.

Intimate relationships are built on self-revelation, not hiding. They start with intention, grow with sincerity, and thrive on authenticity. Digging moats and raising defenses is easy, but vulnerability is where life’s best moments happen.

Keep revealing yourself,

Ryan

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