The Power of Putting Feelings Into Words

Discover one of the simplest ways to transform your emotional well-being

Welcome to another edition of Beyond Self Improvement! If you missed it, here’s last week’s article: Never Let Them See You Sweat.

Today’s essay will explore how putting your emotions into words can ease your mind and lighten your heart.

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Dear Friend,

Have you ever been overwhelmed by emotions and sought escape through distractions like working tirelessly or scrolling mindlessly? Many distract ourselves from the pain and discomfort of fear, worry, or vulnerability.

But here’s the thing: the more we run from our feelings, the more they chase us down, magnifying confusion and suffering and eventually leading to exhaustion.

What if I told you that simply putting your feelings into words—spoken or written—could make you feel better? Over the years, I've noticed a profound pattern: I feel a remarkable sense of relief when expressing my emotions.

Putting Your Feelings Into Words

The first time I realized the power of words was through journaling.

I remember writing my thoughts and feeling the weight of frustration and tension in my body. By the time I finished, there was a noticeable shift. I felt lighter and more at ease. It was almost magical that articulating what was happening inside me could transform my emotional state.

For most of my life, my emotional vocabulary was limited to just a few feelings: anger, sadness, happiness, and loneliness.

This changed drastically after my divorce when I joined a men’s group. In our sessions, we practiced labeling our emotions. We’d go around the circle, each person checking in with their current emotional state.

Initially, I struggled to identify what I was feeling beyond the basic emotions.

But using a list of emotions as a guide, I began to name what I was experiencing more accurately. There was an immediate, noticeable release whenever I correctly labeled an emotion.

Increasing my emotional vocabulary has been life-changing.

It has provided the language I needed to describe my experiences and better understand myself. Without it, I was trapped in the darkness of confusion and the contraction of not knowing what was happening inside me.

Over time, I realized that putting my feelings into words doesn’t have to be literal.

Sometimes, talking about my feelings with a friend makes a huge difference. I call my best friend whenever I struggle with something and can’t seem to gain clarity and freedom. He listens wholeheartedly, mirroring back what I’m trying to express. He helps me see more clearly. By the end of our conversations, I feel freer from whatever bothered me. The heavy burden lifts, and I feel lighter and more at ease. Over the years, my friend has saved me thousands in therapy bills.

The power of expression applies equally to physical health.

Recently, I picked at a spot behind my ear, causing it to bleed repeatedly. I was mildly concerned, so I visited my dermatologist. As soon as she diagnosed it as a benign condition and treated it, my anxiety was alleviated. Even if the doctor didn’t have a solution, just naming the condition alone would have brought relief.

Sometimes, I find solace in talking things through with myself while on a walk. Whether it’s a simple issue or something more complex, articulating my thoughts helps clarify my thinking. Self-talk is often enough for more straightforward matters, but talking to a friend can help with more complicated issues.

Distinguishing between emotions has significantly improved my ability to regulate life’s daily ups and downs.

I feel a significant release when I correctly label an emotion. For instance, if I don’t know what’s bothering me and correctly identify it as grief, I might begin crying. Recognizing that I’m grieving brings an "aha" moment: I understand what’s happening and why I haven’t been my usual self. Gaining clarity is healing and provides relief.

Often, we seek safety and comfort outside ourselves, yet the solid ground we’re looking for is always within us. Grounded confidence is developed by connecting with ourselves through words and labels.

Our ability to connect with others is directly proportional to how well we understand ourselves and our emotions.

Take Action: Start Expressing Your Feelings

So, how can you start harnessing the power of words for emotional well-being? Here are a few practices that have helped me over the years:

1. Journal. Dedicate a few minutes daily to writing down your thoughts and feelings. Don’t worry about structure or grammar—just let the words flow. The magic is in the writing, not what or how you write.

2. Expand your emotional vocabulary. Use a list of emotions to help identify and label your feelings. Over time, this will become easier and more intuitive. I use two resources: How We Feel and an Emotions List.

3. Practice self-talk. Talk through your thoughts and feelings with yourself in moments of solitude. I find the best time is while I’m walking. Self-talk can help clarify your thoughts and quiet your mind.

4. Talk to a friend. When overwhelmed, reach out to a trusted friend. Share your feelings and let them mirror back what they hear. Feeling seen and understood can help restore a sense of okayness.

5. Seek out a 12-step program. If you’re worried about your physical or mental health, don’t hesitate to join a local 12-step program. You can find groups addressing everything from food to sex to codependency.  I find revealing my challenges in a group setting to be healing.

Remember, small, incremental changes have a profound compound effect over time. Begin expressing your feelings and notice the transformative impact on your emotional well-being.

When you connect with yourself, you lay the foundation for deeper, more meaningful connections with others.

Keep expressing your feelings,

Ryan

Thank you for walking the path with me and participating in the conversation. May you live with greater freedom.

My biggest passion is working 1:1 with readers like you.

Whenever you’re ready, I can help you stop battling life and start being your best friend. Schedule a free, 45-minute discovery call now.

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