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Teri Leigh 💜's avatar

Ryan, your divorce story mirrors mine, as so many of our life ventures do.

When my ex-husband left me (to be a monk...add that to your list), I fell into the arms of community in a different form. I was welcomed into the homes, dining room tables, and guest bedrooms of friends and colleagues around the country who nurtured me back to Self. One of them was a closet dominatrix who told me "welcome to divorce, you're about to have the best sex of your life." Boy, was she right. Choosing not to wait the suggested 6-24 months, I had sex that I didn't know was possible.

And it lacked something. emotional intimacy.

I was raw. broken. vulnerable. all the right ingredients for passionate sex.

4 years later, I met my Hobbit, and he changed all the rules, in all the right ways.

But I never would've met him had I not been embraced by community when I needed healing.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Ryan, your story resonates with me on a deep level. I remember the disorientation and emptiness after my own divorce; it was like the ground had shifted beneath my feet. The idea that love alone could sustain a relationship was a hard one to let go of, but like you, I eventually had to confront that reality. Your journey through the Divorce and Relationship Recovery program highlights the power of community and shared experiences in healing. It's a reminder that we're never truly alone in our struggles.

Thank you for your vulnerable essay.

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