Yes, in a way. Your relationship was filled with pain, yet there was growth and eventual transformation. I’ve seen dysfunctional relationships last decades and never change. Thats’s the sign of lies, insipid resignation, desire to be stuck forever in the safety of the familiar pain. It’s the hope-killing darkness of the fearful mind and weak heart.
Ryan, your share reminds me of Andy Andrew's quote, "Persist without exception" in his book, "The Seven Decisions." The book is based on his reading of many biographies of successful people. I believe this to be an excellent way to approach things, although I do see an exception. That is, when there is a redirect from Spirit. Sometimes I'm not meant to follow something through all the way to the end as I see it. Spirit may take me partway through something for a lesson and send me on to the next.
P.S. Your storytelling in this post is excellent! I love that you used multiple examples.
I'm glad you shared the quote and your perspective. I agree that continuing doesn't always make sense, including for reasons of the spirit.
Thanks. It feels good to hear that. I'm still learning how to write and didn't know if it would be better to share one example in depth or multiple briefly.
It probably would have been great either way. I'd say the brief stories, since they were done so well, offer more opportunities for someone to resonate with it, or to understand it. 😉
You offer so many great examples, Ryan. While different, I can see myself in so much of it.
This part especially: "I developed a tolerance for discomfort. I stopped reacting to every strong emotion. I began to see through my thoughts instead of believing them.", spoke volumes to me. I am quick to commit to personal change, namely nutrition and fitness, but give in to my emotions and what I consider to be bad/hard days. But I'll keep trying! 😉
There was a line that really stood out to me: “I hadn't yet realized the paradox that effortlessness takes great effort.” That is a beautiful way of putting it, Ryan. It's counterintuitive but profoundly true. We often admire those who seem effortlessly talented, forgetting the years of hard work, practice, and failures that paved the way. It’s a reminder that mastery isn’t an overnight phenomenon. It’s a long, often arduous journey that requires us to show up even when we don’t feel like it. This quote beautifully sums up the essence of your article – that real growth comes from sticking with things, from weathering the storms, and from embracing the discomfort. It makes me want to reconsider things I've given up on too soon.
I'm glad you picked up on that line because I like it, too. You elaborate on this dynamic beautifully, supporting the theme of the growth mindset. Grateful for your insights and comment.
Ryan, I'm literally awestruck and so inspired by your self-commitment. I'll carry the stories you've shared with me to help carry me through challenging times.
Well, that makes two of us. I'm not awestruck by mine, but I'm sure I would be by yours. If we made it through past challenges, we will make it through future ones.
Really enjoyed this Ryan, definitely pricked my ears up on my on tendencies to quit/leave.
I'm great at trying things, joining clubs, moving countries but I never stick around for long! It's a confusing routine, the excitement of something/somewhere new and then after putting 100% effort in or at least being really engaged in it I get tired of it... Or a certain kind of discomfort from feeling comfortable?
Still trying to figure out my own brain, so always nice to read about how others like yourself have learned from the journey
I admire you for your awareness and inquiry, Kieran. With enough investigation, contemplation and stillness, I'm certain you will come to understand. Grateful for you reading and sharing your experience.
Beautiful stuff here. I often wonder what is the line between perseverance and hiding out in the pain. Appreciate you sharing this ❤️
When you say, "hiding out in the pain," you're referring to numbing oneself to one's suffering as if it doesn't exist and soldiering on?
Yes, in a way. Your relationship was filled with pain, yet there was growth and eventual transformation. I’ve seen dysfunctional relationships last decades and never change. Thats’s the sign of lies, insipid resignation, desire to be stuck forever in the safety of the familiar pain. It’s the hope-killing darkness of the fearful mind and weak heart.
Now I understand, Anton. Thanks for elaborating.
Ryan, your share reminds me of Andy Andrew's quote, "Persist without exception" in his book, "The Seven Decisions." The book is based on his reading of many biographies of successful people. I believe this to be an excellent way to approach things, although I do see an exception. That is, when there is a redirect from Spirit. Sometimes I'm not meant to follow something through all the way to the end as I see it. Spirit may take me partway through something for a lesson and send me on to the next.
P.S. Your storytelling in this post is excellent! I love that you used multiple examples.
I'm glad you shared the quote and your perspective. I agree that continuing doesn't always make sense, including for reasons of the spirit.
Thanks. It feels good to hear that. I'm still learning how to write and didn't know if it would be better to share one example in depth or multiple briefly.
By the way, good to see you on Substack!
It probably would have been great either way. I'd say the brief stories, since they were done so well, offer more opportunities for someone to resonate with it, or to understand it. 😉
Good to see you here too! 🙂
You offer so many great examples, Ryan. While different, I can see myself in so much of it.
This part especially: "I developed a tolerance for discomfort. I stopped reacting to every strong emotion. I began to see through my thoughts instead of believing them.", spoke volumes to me. I am quick to commit to personal change, namely nutrition and fitness, but give in to my emotions and what I consider to be bad/hard days. But I'll keep trying! 😉
I appreciate you, Nancy, because you always own your skills yet are transparent about your limitations. This is not so common, even on Substack.
Thanks, Ryan. I'm learning to be more honest with myself, as well as being more willing to share that. You are a great teacher of those ideas!
Really needed to read this today. Thank you, brother! 🙏🏼😊
Ha, glad to hear, Anu! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I'm honored. 🙇♂️
There was a line that really stood out to me: “I hadn't yet realized the paradox that effortlessness takes great effort.” That is a beautiful way of putting it, Ryan. It's counterintuitive but profoundly true. We often admire those who seem effortlessly talented, forgetting the years of hard work, practice, and failures that paved the way. It’s a reminder that mastery isn’t an overnight phenomenon. It’s a long, often arduous journey that requires us to show up even when we don’t feel like it. This quote beautifully sums up the essence of your article – that real growth comes from sticking with things, from weathering the storms, and from embracing the discomfort. It makes me want to reconsider things I've given up on too soon.
I'm glad you picked up on that line because I like it, too. You elaborate on this dynamic beautifully, supporting the theme of the growth mindset. Grateful for your insights and comment.
Ryan, I'm literally awestruck and so inspired by your self-commitment. I'll carry the stories you've shared with me to help carry me through challenging times.
Well, that makes two of us. I'm not awestruck by mine, but I'm sure I would be by yours. If we made it through past challenges, we will make it through future ones.
I appreciated these examples and the beauty found through persevering. Thanks, Ryan.
Grateful for your words, Susan. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Not quitting is a timeless skill in the era of quiet quitting.
Haha, good point. Forgot about that term.
Really enjoyed this Ryan, definitely pricked my ears up on my on tendencies to quit/leave.
I'm great at trying things, joining clubs, moving countries but I never stick around for long! It's a confusing routine, the excitement of something/somewhere new and then after putting 100% effort in or at least being really engaged in it I get tired of it... Or a certain kind of discomfort from feeling comfortable?
Still trying to figure out my own brain, so always nice to read about how others like yourself have learned from the journey
I admire you for your awareness and inquiry, Kieran. With enough investigation, contemplation and stillness, I'm certain you will come to understand. Grateful for you reading and sharing your experience.