Practice Is the Point of Practice
The practice itself is the very joy and peace we are seeking
Dear Friend,
At 24, I participated in a weekend immersive called Lifespring.
As one of the last people on my dad's side of the family to attend, I held off because of a combination of stubbornness, not wanting to be a follower and not wanting to admit that I would benefit. Only after my sister offered for me to go for free, thus removing my last excuse, did I agree to go.
Lifespring was part of a raft of human potential programs that sprung up in California in the 70s. Now defunct, it was similar to Landmark Education, which you may have heard of. The founders of Lifespring worked at Mind Dynamics with Werner Erhard, the founder of est, the basis for Landmark Education.
The program was rigorous and emotionally challenging. On the first day, the leaders discussed "being" versus "doing." "How am I supposed to just be?" I wondered.
We were told the weekend's exercises would "stretch" us outside our comfort zones.
In one exercise, I stood in the middle of nine people telling me how I "showed up," terrified they would reveal my darkest secrets. One woman leaned in and said a little too zealously, "You're scared of women!" Something inside me knew she was right, and it stung.
In another, I was paired with the one person I was most afraid of becoming: a bland, middle-aged accountant who drove a gold Toyota Camry. My biggest fear, then and now, is feeling judged and not belonging.
Mr. Milquetoast and I were invited to perform Bruce Springsteen's "Hungry Heart" in front of over 100 people. Somehow, the leaders understood what I didn't want to know: I was lonely and longing for love. With the support and encouragment of our fellow attendees, we strummed our wooden tennis rackets, and for a few minutes, we were rock stars.
Three days and about 36 hours of intense emotional work later, I felt I was on top of the world. "Now that I know how to be happy," I thought, "I can just enjoy being happy without having to work at it."
Unfortunately, my new-found joy didn't last long. In the coming weeks and months, I returned to my usual anxious, fearful, depressed self. It seems I hadn't learned the key to happiness after all. Perhaps that's because there is no key.
Happiness is not a straightforward equation where x input yields y output. Instead, it is a practice.
As someone once said, "Enlightenment is an accident. Practice makes us accident-prone." Happiness, like enlightenment, is also an accident. It is a byproduct of practices that create the conditions that give rise to but do not guarantee a happy state of mind.
Unlike self-help courses, spiritual practices like QiGong, TaiChi or breathwork offer no money-back guarantees. Then again, practice is the point of practice, not some imagined state of grace free of sorrow.
Expecting to experience a positive state of mind will all but ensure it never materializes.
I will inevitably be disappointed if I dislike yoga and only practice it to calm my mind or tone my body. But if I practice yoga because I'm into it without intending to achieve anything or arrive anywhere, the practice becomes the path and the destination.
We can remind ourselves every day that the practice isn’t about getting somewhere or achieving something. The practice itself is the very joy and peace we are seeking. The practice is the destination. It is possible for each one of us to dwell happily in the present moment.
– Thich Nhat Hanh
Practice is especially relevant to my writing, coaching and teaching. When I started posting on social media, I did what everyone else did, including my new online friends: I worked 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. I felt burned out after a year and a half without a break. I'm still recovering.
As my friend and partner at The Creator Retreat, Teri Leigh wrote on Substack, "When we look at intention (and mindfulness) as our motivation, purpose, and success rather than outcome, results, or engagement…everything changes inside."
My primary practice today is giving myself as much as I give to others.
Keep practicing,
Ryan
The Creator Retreat 🌳
When we shift our focus from outcomes to the path itself, everything changes. This is the heart of what I’ve learned as a practitioner, and it’s the essence of The Creator Retreat.
The Creator Retreat isn’t another self-help program promising quick fixes or cookie-cutter solutions. Instead, it’s a sanctuary where creators can step back, breathe, and reconnect with their inner wisdom. It’s a place to practice—not to achieve, but to discover, evolve, and create with joy and intention.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, lost in the metrics and hustle, or disconnected from the spark that inspired you to create in the first place, this retreat is for you. Through monthly workshops, community support, and a slow, intentional process, you’ll find clarity, confidence, and a new definition of success—one that honors your unique path.
Let’s practice together.
I had that same burnout on social media. Posted every day. All my energy went into it and I got nothing back, it felt like screaming into the void. It was also antithetic to my practice and how I live my life. I love the idea that the practice is the practice. So true. I don't practice yoga and meditation to achieve anything, I practice because I feel good when I do. I feel strong and grounded and can go through my life feeling the way I want to feel. I guess that's achieving something, but yoga doesn't make me a better person, it helps me a better version of who I already am. It's my opportunity to connect to myself.
Thank you Ryan. I was going to offer some deep insightful sentence about practice and remembered my practice of not trying to be wise and insightful all the time. Sometimes I'm just drinking coffee and loving the read.😜. Thank you for a wonderful read.