Beautifully clear. You rinsed the despair out of “life is suffering” without turning it into a TED Talk on positive thinking. The Buddha didn’t preach misery. He taught mechanics. Pain happens. Identification is optional. Blessed be the ones who stop adding the second arrow.
Your comment leaves me laughing, which I greatly appreciate. It feels good to hear that what I wrote was clear without whitewashing. "Identification is optional" is as wise as it is often missed. I appreciate your feedback and sharing your wisdom with all of us.
As I read, it occurred to me that instead of finding a better word for dukkha, I've simply modified my relationship with the English word suffering. I think of suffering as the reaction to aversion, a feeling of wishing circumstances were other than they are.
This is, of course, not the dictionary definition of suffering. As such, I spend unnecessary time trying to change the English-speaking world's relationship with the definition of suffering.
This is all so ironic, considering I'm so attached to one way and resistant to what is. I am suffering by hanging onto the word suffering in this way.
Too funny, Damon. I know what you mean. And yet all of this speaks to your depth of awareness. Thanks for the laugh and for giving us a window into Damon's mind. 😂🪟
This is great wisdom, Ryan. As I often stress about the difficulties I deal with my neurological tremors, I try to remind myself not to add to it with my thoughts. It doesn't stop the issues, but it lessens the optional suffering, which helps. ✨
That notion of the second arrow feels like so... *it*. In conscious leadership they call it reactivity. I'm sure it's in all sorts of other wisdom traditions. But the idea that we hurt ourselves with automatic responses, and learning to soften those and choose is so essential.
Reactivity is such an apt word for the dynamic of conditioned response. Hurt ourselves, yes. I awoke this morning thinking, “Oh, I could have mentioned that we hurt others with our reactivity, too. Oh well. Next time.”
It has been a while. Always enjoy hearing from you!
Great article. I use the concept of the 2nd arrow a lot in my work as a CBT therapist. I use it to help clients understand that 'all emotions are allowable and none need be excluded', so that their secondary reaction to an unwanted emotion doesn't become a second arrow. Instead, it can be integrated (without being suppressed or fuelled) into 'what is here'
Beautifully clear. You rinsed the despair out of “life is suffering” without turning it into a TED Talk on positive thinking. The Buddha didn’t preach misery. He taught mechanics. Pain happens. Identification is optional. Blessed be the ones who stop adding the second arrow.
Your comment leaves me laughing, which I greatly appreciate. It feels good to hear that what I wrote was clear without whitewashing. "Identification is optional" is as wise as it is often missed. I appreciate your feedback and sharing your wisdom with all of us.
Ryan, this hit home in a new way for me today. Thank you.
Funny how that works. Happens to me too. I'm glad this was one of those days.
Wow, Ryan. So much to chew on here. Suffering is optional. That I need to keep repeating
I'm glad it landed, Heidi. This mental model has been invaluable for me over the years. Good practicing.
Nicely put, Ryan.
As I read, it occurred to me that instead of finding a better word for dukkha, I've simply modified my relationship with the English word suffering. I think of suffering as the reaction to aversion, a feeling of wishing circumstances were other than they are.
This is, of course, not the dictionary definition of suffering. As such, I spend unnecessary time trying to change the English-speaking world's relationship with the definition of suffering.
This is all so ironic, considering I'm so attached to one way and resistant to what is. I am suffering by hanging onto the word suffering in this way.
Too funny, Damon. I know what you mean. And yet all of this speaks to your depth of awareness. Thanks for the laugh and for giving us a window into Damon's mind. 😂🪟
This is great wisdom, Ryan. As I often stress about the difficulties I deal with my neurological tremors, I try to remind myself not to add to it with my thoughts. It doesn't stop the issues, but it lessens the optional suffering, which helps. ✨
I'm sorry to hear about the neurological tremors, and I'm heartened that you're able to find freedom through awareness. I admire you.
And Marley is adorable! 🐾
Thanks! She's been so sweet to live with.
Love this. Needed this reminder and clarification! Thank you.
You’re generous, Anu. I know you know. Appreciate you reading and commenting, my friend.
The Human Condition is a mofo, but having a dawg makes it waaaay more tolerable. Congrats on Marley.
Ha! 😆 Appreciate that, my friend. True to your words, she’s already blessing me with her existence.
Dang! I'm glad I only quoted it a gazillion times.
Ha! Thanks for the laugh, John! Always welcomed.
That notion of the second arrow feels like so... *it*. In conscious leadership they call it reactivity. I'm sure it's in all sorts of other wisdom traditions. But the idea that we hurt ourselves with automatic responses, and learning to soften those and choose is so essential.
Also... hey, been a while, hope you're well!
Reactivity is such an apt word for the dynamic of conditioned response. Hurt ourselves, yes. I awoke this morning thinking, “Oh, I could have mentioned that we hurt others with our reactivity, too. Oh well. Next time.”
It has been a while. Always enjoy hearing from you!
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” I will carry this mantra and hope that it sticks. Great article. Thanks Ryan.🩵
Your comment leaves me tearing up. Your intention inspires me.
Spot on, I can relate.
I'm smiling. ☺️
This is so so SO spot on based on my experience - thank you for writing this!!
Feels great to learn we share the same experience, Katja. Appreciate you taking the time to read and comment when you have innumerable choices.
Great article. I use the concept of the 2nd arrow a lot in my work as a CBT therapist. I use it to help clients understand that 'all emotions are allowable and none need be excluded', so that their secondary reaction to an unwanted emotion doesn't become a second arrow. Instead, it can be integrated (without being suppressed or fuelled) into 'what is here'