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Janine Agoglia's avatar

The day I learned to trust my gut was the day my life changed for the better. I find the fears are the louder voice in my head, but the gut has so much wisdom. She usually steers me in the right direction. And when I know better, I do better (Maya Angelou).

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

You help us see that just because fear is louder doesn't mean it has to drown out our gut feelings. I always appreciate Maya's wisdom.

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Janine Agoglia's avatar

Me too. Her other quote that resonates is "if you are always trying to be normal, you'll never realize how amazing you are." I have that on a magnet on my fridge.

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

Brilliant. Anyway, what is "normal?" Guaranteed strategy for boring yourself and others.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Ryan, I felt so sad that you kept drinking orange juice as a kid even though it gave you a headache because you thought you were the problem. That's what kids do though. They find a way to adapt. Even though it may not be optimal, it keeps them feeling safe in the time being.

I think your experience shows the norm and that few people trust themselves. But life is so different when we do! I appreciate all the different examples and your encouragement to trust ourselves.

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

I feel sad knowing that you felt sad. 😔 It's a simple example, but it says everything about how we "find a way to adapt." Thanks for letting me know you appreciated the examples - I cut out at least 50% for brevity.

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Betsy McHaley's avatar

Great article.

Unfortunately for me, the pendulum has swung so far in the other direction that I don’t believe ANYTHING I read or hear anymore. And with the evolution of AI, I also can’t believe things I see.

Honing my intuition, searching for balance, and trying not to turn into a cynic over here.

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

I appreciate your feedback and honesty here, Betsy. I believe not believing anything is a good quality. It means you're discerning, not necessarily cynical. The thing is, belief is one of the most significant sources of trouble in the world. We see it in politics, religion, culture, and pretty much any "ism." In contrast, once you know something to be true through direct experience or insight, no one can convince you otherwise. No belief required.

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Betsy McHaley's avatar

Excellent points. And, you’ve made me feel better, so thank you for that.

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

Wow, I feel better learning this. :)

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Launa's avatar

Thanks for this one, Ryan. Good to be reminded that I'm not alone in my ability to ignore my own lived experience because of something I heard/read/previously believed. Believe the bird!

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

I figured this must be a universal experience, Launa. May we all remember to "Believe the bird" in moments of doubt and uncertainty.

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Adrienne's avatar

It seems we all fell into this phenomena of not knowing how to trust what we already know. It takes so many years of un-conditioning to learn a new way of thinking. I love that you touched on this as so many of us don't even realize the extent to what we blindly believe and the consequences that stem from that belief often have disastrous effects especially in health, politics, and religion. I love the buddha and his path of testing for yourself. I think we need to hone back in on learning how to question things that we have a gut reaction on. But first, we need to learn how to even recognize when our intuition is speaking. Thank you for this article.

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

It feels great to learn we share this experience. You make so many helpful points, starting with becoming aware of our intuition. As you say, it takes years of un-conditioning for most of us.

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Brett Howser's avatar

Education is expensive -especially in the stock market.

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

Oh, the stories of all those who've stepped into the stock market arena. Trillions in losses...and missed opportunities. Thanks, Brett.

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Kieran J S's avatar

Very much feeling this recently, getting bogged down with all the "experts" trying to sell me things on podcasts, social media. Plugging out as often as I can, reducing my consumption to sports only, trying to be more assertive in creating/maintaining friendships and it's felt a lot better! Intuition isn't profitable, but it definitely doesn't feel cheap

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

I appreciate your vulnerability here and admire you for learning to tune out the noise and tune into your own inner knowing. This made me laugh: "Intuition isn't profitable, but it definitely doesn't feel cheap." 😂

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Henrik Vierula's avatar

“I kept drinking it thinking I was the problem”.

This is so real and relevant. So much implicit messaging teaching us to mistrust ourselves. Thank you for this.

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

It's beneficial to hear "so much implicit messaging." Helps me (and others) to forgive ourselves. Thanks, Henrik. 🙏🏻

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Taft's avatar

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I gave $200,000 to the Mormon church/cult until I realized, at 43, that it was a BS religion. Would have been nice to invest that money… in… anything. 🙁

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

I haven't had this experience, but I feel your pain, Taft. I'm glad you realized it wasn't the right path for you before investing the next 43 years of your life and savings in it.

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Craig Mintzlaff's avatar

Ryan...always be happy with profits. Stick to your beliefs, morals and standards also something I live by. And yes ..always throw out the cheese. And bad people in your life that take energy from you ( article you had about 2 years ago). Have a great week... I am in USA next 4 weeks

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

I can't recall the article, but I'm glad it stuck. :) I'll text you, friend.

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Nancy A's avatar

Great wisdom in this, Ryan! I watched my parents always defer to the medical "experts", among others. So I came by that naturally, but I'm a lot more determined to follow my own drumbeat now. Listening to the birds always! ✨

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

And you realize that learning lessons as a kid would have been so much easier, more straightforward and less painful. But then we wouldn't appreciate the wisdom. Glad you're learning to follow your own drumbeat.

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Teph's avatar

My whole year has been about this! ~~ Remaining quiet to get my inner wisdom 🤭✨

Great reading, Ryan 🌤️✨

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

Love hearing this, Teph. And so glad you took the time to read...and comment.

You're on the right path.

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Vito Tuxedo's avatar

Experts? Who sez experts are experts? Other experts?

Good questions, but an even better question is:

"Why would someone want to listen to a former pert?" 😎

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

Right, only we empower experts. What is a "pert?"

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Vito Tuxedo's avatar

A pert is what you are before you renounce pertism and become an expert.

Considering all the damage that has been done by experts, I tend to think that the world would be better off if perts were just content to remain perts, and dropped their aspirations to become experts.

I’m not sure my reply has been especially helpful in defining what a pert is, but I assume that it’s somewhat lower on the arrogance scale than an expert. 😎🙏

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

I like that, Vito. You have a creative mind. And the last line left me laughing. I agree, my friend.

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Vito Tuxedo's avatar

Thanks Ryan. As you well know, it’s not an especially uncommon thing to have a creative mind. The thing that makes it a gift rather than a burden is the discovery that using it to serve the highest and best in others is the straight-line path to serving your own highest and best interests.

In physics we call that the principle of least action. Recognizing that relationship is, in my experience, a characteristic of the best scientific minds I know.

Others who are significantly more impoverished of creativity (you know…”experts”) are all over the Internet, blatting out the lie that “philosophy has no place in physics”.

What a pantload! The man who put physics on the map with the 1687 publication of his Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica (Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy) certainly knew better. Physics is natural philosophy.

Notwithstanding the phenomenal success of quantum theory, its incompleteness makes it a terrible example for those who look to physics to provide an ontology that keeps it relatable to human experience. Toward that end, the work of philosophical physicists like Jacob Barandes and Tim Maudlin is encouraging.

Ultimately, “creativity” is a spiritual endeavor, wherein the creative mind is one that recognizes the connections between phenomena. After all, spirituality is simply one’s awareness of the interconnectedness of all things. 😎🙏

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

You share so many insights so eloquently, Vito. I echo your sentiment that creativity in the service of others is the highest and most rewarding form. I relate to the principle of least action as the path of least resistance that most of us default to, which is often not in our best interest. Brilliant and beautiful: "spirituality is simply one’s awareness of the interconnectedness of all things. 😎🙏" I enjoyed this exchange. 🤗

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

Wow, really appreciate what you wrote here—and brilliantly said! Thank you.

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Vito Tuxedo's avatar

Thanks for your kind reply, Ryan. No, really. I don’t know you, but my impression is that you understand that getting some positive feedback from someone who reads what you’ve written is its own reward, not because it pumps up your ego, but because you recognize the truth that mutual benefit should be the ultimate goal of all human interaction.

In fact, the title of your Post is instructive, now that I think about it. Learning to trust oneself is a doggone hard thing to do. Much of the world isn’t set up to encourage that. There are far too many people who derive their sense of self-esteem from the sense of “superiority” they gain from deprecating others. Alas, Substack comments provide an abundance of examples.

I think that part of the difficulty in learning to trust oneself is the epidemic of confusion between the “self” and the ego. The self — by which I mean the true self — is simply that localized manifestation of consciousness that knows its own concept of the pursuit of happiness without interfering with the unalienable rights of others; that is, their life, their liberty, or their pursuit of happiness.

Unfortunately, the ego — the “self” that we think others perceive — gets in the way. It’s a fiction, but we often don’t realize it, and we end up serving it, often at great cost to the true self. I guess that’s why learning to trust oneself is such a difficult and messy task. The ego is such an insidious construct; it injects itself into everything we think, say, and do.

In a certain sense, I suppose we need the ego to survive. It might be a fiction, but it’s a convenient one. The true self is vulnerable. Maybe not to others of mutually beneficent intent, but no rational persons would accuse all their fellow humanoids of mutually beneficent intent. That’s a fact. We don’t have to like it, but we ignore it at our peril.

Anyhow, I appreciate your original Post, and I wanted to share my reflections on the title itself, which emphasizes (for me, at least) the challenge we all face in separating the true self from the ego that deceives us into serving it, often to our own detriment, and often to the detriment of others. That’s not exactly a prescription for successful interaction with our fellow humanoids.

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Damon Mitchell's avatar

You're capturing something so relevant to our zeitgeist, but also nuanced. Reading this made me think of three things.

1. The popular "do your own research" school of thinking, which seems to suggest we must all become Renaissance Men.

2. How concerning I find this way of thinking, but also how I think I understand how we stopped trusting too many of our authorities... but also...

3. The famous lyrics of Baz Lurman from his track, Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)

"Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it

Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth

But trust me on the sunscreen."

Ironically, I don't wear sunscreen these days. Just a little zinc on the parts facing the sun, but this is a little off topic. Not totally. Just a little.

Enough dermatologists that I've talked to have concerns about the research on what we put in most sunscreens. This is not conclusive research, so please do not take me as giving advice, but—it turns out—there may be cancer-causing elements in the very lotion that is supposed to protect us from the sun! 😳

But what the hell do I know? I'm neither a derm nor a researcher. I couldn't validate this research. I do know that my family history is that we don't tend to get skin cancer, I do wear zinc on my bald head, and I stay out of the sun from 11 am to 3 pm.

The point is that I am considering a certain authority, but not the larger body of authority on the matter. So... Everybody else? Wear sunscreen. It's probably good advice. The sun is a known carcinogen. Sunscreen is not.

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

I always appreciate your sharing from your creative (for lack of a more comprehensive word) mind. Being you must be forever interesting, as your partner can undoubtedly attest.

I feel this and share your sentiment. Which is why I began using zinc oxide in college. Which cancer do you prefer - the one from the sun...or the chemicals in your sunscreen? No easy answers for any of us.

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