Oh the irony of being attached to “being disciplined”. I know this game well. I’m going from
Pescatarian to vegetarian to vegan to raw…denying myself more and more until one day my spiritual teacher out a steak in from of me and said “eat”. It felt so good! My body had been so hungry and deprived!
Ha! Such a perfect illustration of this dynamic. It's remarkable how many areas of our lives being attached to "being disciplined," as you wrote, can appear. I'm glad your teacher could see through it.
We humans are prone to binary thinking: good versus bad, healthy versus unhealthy, certainty versus doubt, etc. But few things in life lend themselves to this perspective. Virtually everything is on a spectrum, shades of gray. We recoil from ambiguity, though it leads to great anxiety and unhappiness. Honestly, I think the "middle way" is contrary to our instincts and nature, which is why it must be consciously cultivated.
You make an excellent point, and I think you're right. If our biology is rigged to keep us alive, then living in ambiguity wouldn't seem to be a priority, even at the expense of our happiness. Therefore, as you say, this ability must be cultivated. I appreciate you sharing your wisdom here.
Isn't it interesting how can become so invested in the pursuit of self-denial? It wasn't about the shrimp, it's a much older story. Thank you for sharing and bon appétit!
It's fascinating, Henrik. In my experience, it's a complex, layered dynamic that goes much deeper than I touched on, as you know. I appreciate your comment. 🙏🏻
Truly well written and the middle is the sweet spot. Life is to be enjoyed and fully experienced. Even the self-discipline is a path I had to go on to find that balance. It’s all necessary. Appreciation, fun, letting go. Thank you for this!
Learning that balance is an interesting and compelling path, isn't it? As you say, it's all necessary. I'm glad you're finding your way and grateful for the comment.
This is such an insightful reflection, Ryan. The balance between self-discipline and joy is something I've been grappling with lately. It’s so easy to get caught up in denial, thinking it’s somehow more virtuous to deprive myself of pleasure. But as you pointed out, true spirituality isn’t about punishment—it’s about participating in life fully, without attachment. Your "eat the shrimp" lesson really resonates with me. I’m definitely going to take a moment to reflect on where I might be unnecessarily denying myself. Thanks for this reminder!
Thank you for sharing this, Anton. It means a lot to me. It sounds like you have awareness of occasionally and unintentionally denying yourself life's pleasures and that it doesn't benefit you or make you more virtuous. :)
I remember when I first started trying to ‘be better’ I would try to deny myself of things that I enjoyed. I thought that if I didn’t have them, then I would be more disciplined and more focused. I tried to deny myself coffee, which I love. I tried to deny myself music when I was working, which I also love. I was miserable. I was so focused on not having things that I wasn’t really living. I was just existing. It wasn't until I realized that those things brought me joy that I was able to find the middle way. Your article made me reflect on this and I'm grateful.
Your examples are so relatable, Alex. I love coffee and music, too; when I denied myself coffee, I missed out on one of life's great joys. I enjoy music (and coffee) in moderation - too much risks the melodies repeating in my mind, making it harder to be aware. I appreciate your comment. :o)
Mind happily vibrated into bits. I’ve never had attachment presented like this before. it was sort of like learning that division is related to multiplication…thank you.
The middle way has always been my way! I really appreciate how you laid out your journey, Ryan. It’s a great reminder that discipline and joy can coexist 😊
Shrimp is my shrimp. 😂 Lol but for real. This is an interesting question and I'm sitting with this one.
Honestly I think I walk a middle path because I'm too tired to decide which side to lean on, and middle is easiest. Also I have done a lot of healing around the concept of "all or nothing." But as mentioned above, the middle path is something that requires cultivation.
Oh the irony of being attached to “being disciplined”. I know this game well. I’m going from
Pescatarian to vegetarian to vegan to raw…denying myself more and more until one day my spiritual teacher out a steak in from of me and said “eat”. It felt so good! My body had been so hungry and deprived!
The middle path. Ahhhhh.
Ha! Such a perfect illustration of this dynamic. It's remarkable how many areas of our lives being attached to "being disciplined," as you wrote, can appear. I'm glad your teacher could see through it.
This is such a great reminder. I love what you said about discipline being wedded with joy.
It feels great to learn the part about "discipline being wedded with joy" landed, Adrienne. I appreciate you reading and commenting.
We humans are prone to binary thinking: good versus bad, healthy versus unhealthy, certainty versus doubt, etc. But few things in life lend themselves to this perspective. Virtually everything is on a spectrum, shades of gray. We recoil from ambiguity, though it leads to great anxiety and unhappiness. Honestly, I think the "middle way" is contrary to our instincts and nature, which is why it must be consciously cultivated.
You make an excellent point, and I think you're right. If our biology is rigged to keep us alive, then living in ambiguity wouldn't seem to be a priority, even at the expense of our happiness. Therefore, as you say, this ability must be cultivated. I appreciate you sharing your wisdom here.
Wow your last sentence hit me hard. There is so much truth in it.
I found this posting especially helpful particularly the changes throughout one's life
Ryan your story is mine, in part, too.
Love the middle way
I appreciate this feedback, Susan. It helps me learn what landed. I'm glad you like the middle way, too.
Isn't it interesting how can become so invested in the pursuit of self-denial? It wasn't about the shrimp, it's a much older story. Thank you for sharing and bon appétit!
It's fascinating, Henrik. In my experience, it's a complex, layered dynamic that goes much deeper than I touched on, as you know. I appreciate your comment. 🙏🏻
Truly well written and the middle is the sweet spot. Life is to be enjoyed and fully experienced. Even the self-discipline is a path I had to go on to find that balance. It’s all necessary. Appreciation, fun, letting go. Thank you for this!
Learning that balance is an interesting and compelling path, isn't it? As you say, it's all necessary. I'm glad you're finding your way and grateful for the comment.
This is such an insightful reflection, Ryan. The balance between self-discipline and joy is something I've been grappling with lately. It’s so easy to get caught up in denial, thinking it’s somehow more virtuous to deprive myself of pleasure. But as you pointed out, true spirituality isn’t about punishment—it’s about participating in life fully, without attachment. Your "eat the shrimp" lesson really resonates with me. I’m definitely going to take a moment to reflect on where I might be unnecessarily denying myself. Thanks for this reminder!
Thank you for sharing this, Anton. It means a lot to me. It sounds like you have awareness of occasionally and unintentionally denying yourself life's pleasures and that it doesn't benefit you or make you more virtuous. :)
Great story Ryan. :D
I appreciate your feedback. ☺️
I remember when I first started trying to ‘be better’ I would try to deny myself of things that I enjoyed. I thought that if I didn’t have them, then I would be more disciplined and more focused. I tried to deny myself coffee, which I love. I tried to deny myself music when I was working, which I also love. I was miserable. I was so focused on not having things that I wasn’t really living. I was just existing. It wasn't until I realized that those things brought me joy that I was able to find the middle way. Your article made me reflect on this and I'm grateful.
Your examples are so relatable, Alex. I love coffee and music, too; when I denied myself coffee, I missed out on one of life's great joys. I enjoy music (and coffee) in moderation - too much risks the melodies repeating in my mind, making it harder to be aware. I appreciate your comment. :o)
I love this on so many levels. Especially because now I feel better about the chocolate chip cookie that I just ate. :)
But I'll take a walk later today--perhaps down that middle road.
Funny and wise, Sonia. I find pleasure is a vital aspect of life.
Mind happily vibrated into bits. I’ve never had attachment presented like this before. it was sort of like learning that division is related to multiplication…thank you.
So many people have expanded my mind, so hearing this makes my day, Elizabeth.
I really enjoyed this piece. This landed: “discipline must be wedded to joy!”
I appreciate you letting me know, Heidi.
Thanks for the restack.
The middle way has always been my way! I really appreciate how you laid out your journey, Ryan. It’s a great reminder that discipline and joy can coexist 😊
I know you know, April :)
Shrimp is my shrimp. 😂 Lol but for real. This is an interesting question and I'm sitting with this one.
Honestly I think I walk a middle path because I'm too tired to decide which side to lean on, and middle is easiest. Also I have done a lot of healing around the concept of "all or nothing." But as mentioned above, the middle path is something that requires cultivation.
Really interesting conversation here. I love it.
Simba is clearly contemplating the middle way...or...maybe waiting for dinner. Beautiful and such good good advice I think Ryan. Thank you.
I think you're right, Ian. He may have been contemplating the middle way or kibble. I appreciate your thoughtful words. :)
Good reminder that I can practice aversion when working with clinging and vice versa! 😂
Funny, Parker. Exactly! 😂