I Had a Plan. Life Had a Different One.

What happened next surprised me.

What do you do when you can’t do what you planned to do?

Dear Friend,

I’m supposed to be writing my weekly newsletter. But I can’t. I’m stuck.

I’m sitting at a wooden table by the front counter of the only coffee shop within walking distance of my home—a Starbucks tucked into the first floor of a high-end, Spanish-style apartment complex home to many tech workers.

I'd probably be spiraling now if not for the momentum of mindfulness from last week’s meditation retreat.

Usually, I procrastinate until Monday, edit on Tuesday, and schedule the newsletter for Wednesday at midnight. This is my routine and rhythm, something predictable.

But yesterday, instead of writing, I spent half the day constructing a bookcase and rearranging my home office to organize my books and beautify my space. I’d been thinking about this for two years.

It looks even better than I imagined. But it was the perfect excuse to put off writing.

Meditation clarifies my thinking, but it's not helping me put words on the page today.

Four weeks ago, I had the flu (likely Covid). One missed newsletter turned into two. Then three. And just like that, I was out of tempo.

Not writing for three weeks feels like not moving my body for three weeks. The mind gets out of shape faster than the body—ask any gym rat or mindfulness practitioner. One day turns into two, then a week, and then suddenly, three months have passed since you last read a book, went for a run, or picked up the habit you swore you’d never drop.

So, instead of forcing myself to write something insightful about the retreat, I’m writing about the most pressing thing: I can’t write what I planned.

Fear, uncertainty, and doubt are always lurking. And yet, writing about that—about the stuckness—somehow loosens its grip.

Maybe sharing my struggle will help you share yours. Perhaps things don't need to be forced into existence before they’re ready.

Life isn’t a straight path, predictable, or orderly. It’s messy, chaotic, and continually changing. The real skill isn’t manipulating it but learning to be with it, like surfing or dancing.

I had a plan for this newsletter, but conditions differed. Instead of resisting, I was called to respond creatively.

So, the next time things don’t go according to plan, ask yourself: How can I dance with this moment? How can I ride this wave instead of resisting it?

Not being able to write used to stress me out. But I know now this is part of the process. It happens. It sucks, but it passes.

And besides, I am writing this newsletter, am I not?

So maybe I haven’t lost the skill after all.

Keep dancing,

Ryan

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This week, instead of sharing a dog photo, I’m sharing an old song I like.