Awaken to Your True Essence
Navigating life beyond good and bad
Dear friends,
Welcome to another edition of Beyond Self Improvement! Last Wednesday, I published Breaking Free From Self-Criticism (Written By A Former Victim).
Today’s essay explores how to live beyond good and bad by awakening to our true essence. If you’re new, subscribe to join our growing community and get my next essay in your inbox.
My basic view of life was that everything was either good or bad.
When I say good, I mean the things that brought me pleasant feelings like anticipation, joy, and happiness, such as watching a sunrise, dinner with friends, and vacationing. And when I say bad, I mean the things that brought me unpleasant feelings like anxiety, anger, and loneliness, such as deadlines, traffic, and being single.
I spent much of my life grasping the good and avoiding the bad.
Intuitively, this approach makes sense. After all, if our subjective sense of well-being depends on our feelings, the more pleasant we experience, the more likely we are to feel happy. And who doesn’t want to be happy?
“We are taught in this culture that if we can grasp enough pleasurable experiences quickly, one after another, our life will be happy. By following a good game of tennis with a delicious dinner, a fine movie, then wonderful sex and sleep, a good morning jog, a fine hour of meditation, an excellent breakfast, and off to an exciting morning of work, over and over, our happiness will last. Our driven society is masterful at perpetuating this ruse. But will this satisfy the heart?”— Jack Kornfield¹
But is this the best way to live? Is lasting happiness dependent on filling our life with all the good stuff without any bad? And what happens when the good stuff runs out or the lousy stuff catches up with us?
𑁍
The truth is, life is not black and white. It is not a series of good and bad events. It is a complex and dynamic process that we must participate in. It is an unfolding of growth and discovery that we have to embrace.
The key to embracing life is to go beyond the dualities of good and bad, pleasure and pain, and happiness and sadness. It is to realize that these are not fixed and permanent states but transient and relative experiences. They are not the essence of who we are but rather the expressions of how we relate to life.
Our essence is something deeper and more stable. It does not depend on the changing conditions of daily life but rather on the unchanging nature of our being. It does not fluctuate with the ups and downs of our existence but remains constant and stable amidst it all. It does not seek happiness from the outside but instead radiates joy from the inside.
Our true self, original nature, and divine spirit are already within us.
Connecting with our true selves requires cultivating awareness, acceptance, and gratitude. It is awareness of present moment experience without judging it as good or bad but instead observing it as it is. It accepts life’s reality without resisting or clinging but instead flowing with it. It is gratitude for life without taking it for granted but instead appreciating it.
With awareness, acceptance, and gratitude, we transcend the dualities of life. We realize there is no good or bad, but just phenomena. And we can relate to anything with equanimity, compassion, and wisdom. We can enjoy the pleasant without attachment and meet the unpleasant without aversion. We can face challenges with courage and celebrate success with humility. We can live any moment with peace and love any being with kindness.
This is the true happiness we all seek. And it is not something we must chase after but awaken to. It is not something we have to grasp but let go of. It is not something we have to find but remember.
𑁍
We must remember who we are beyond all labels of right and wrong. We must remember that we are not our feelings but the witness of our feelings, that we are not our thoughts but the space in which thoughts come and go, that we are not our bodies but the energy that animates our bodies, and that we are not our roles but the actors and directors of our roles.
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience,” as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin observed. “We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
And when we remember this, we can live beyond the dualities of the mind. We can live with joy, peace, and love. We can live with purpose, meaning, and fulfillment. We can live with grace, beauty, and wonder.
We can live as our true selves.
Live your true essence,
1. This quote is excerpted from A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield. Page 87.
P.S… If you’re enjoying Beyond Self Improvement, will you take 6 seconds and forward this edition to a friend? It goes a long way in helping me grow the newsletter (and bring more and more Conscious Beings into the world).
And I’d love your input on how I can make Beyond Self Improvement even more useful for you! So please comment with:
Ideas you’d like covered in future editions
Your biggest takeaway from this edition
I read and reply to every comment!
And finally, whenever you’re ready, I can help you transform chronic anxiety and overwhelm into ongoing peace—making you feel calm and in control of your life. Schedule a free, 30-minute discovery call now.
A dude among dudes resonates for me
Solid, Ryan. Thank you.